People are bad…probably

Recently I have been trying to figure out of people are generally good, generally bad or downright evil.  My original thesis was this:

First, “Good” can be defined as what everybody thinks is acceptable.

Second, Most people define “Good” in a way that fits their own activities.

Therefore, most people are good.

This may be a logical answer, but the argument falls short as an actual argument.  So I am going to try to have a better answer.  I would like to apologise if I seem to be arguing with myself during this post as that is exactly what I am doing.

Why are people good (as they define it)?  Is it because they fear retribution?  Is it a moral imperative?  If the former, then I would say that is an indication that, given the chance, most people would be bad (if not evil).  If the latter, then there may be hope for the human race after all.

How can we determine a single person’s internal reasons for taking actions, much less everyone’s?  The best way is to evaluate those people who think they are above retribution by means of personal wealth or because they think they are too stupid or crazy to know better.  Now in the second case, I am not talking about the people who steal to feed their family (they are being pushed in to violating societal mores).  I am talking about true lunatics here.

The evidence here gets hard to gather.  Many people are financially well-to-do and stick to their morality.  These people never make the news.  Then there are cases such as Bernie Madoff.  So, Are there more “good” guys than “Bernie” guys that fit this “above the law” criteria?  Probably.  Does that prove that most people are good?  Probably not.  I would rather use the term “adequate” for people that only do no harm.  What about actually doing good?  Again, the people who do good rarely make the news.  It can also be argued that the harm that one Bernie can do is not mitigated by the good that a single goodie-two-shoes does.  And what about the good guy?  If he has $20M in money that can be spent on anything, and buys himself a $19.9M car and give $100k to charity…is that good?  The car was built by someone and therefore he is helping the economy.  But that is not a selfless act…and therefore not really good.

Then there are other cases that do not conform to the case study from above.  I was renting a house until I got a job.  My landlord knew that we were strapped for cash.  He and his wife were both employed.  He chose to sell the house we were living in rather than take a financial stalemate (which was the situation with my lease).  This put a lot of pressure on me and my family.  He was a decent guy otherwise, but did something uncomfortable to me so that he and his family could be more comfortable.  Is that a good act?  I will leave it up to the reader to decide since I am too close to this example.

This is a small sample size.  But can we make a tentative conclusion?  I am going to say that people are not good.  People who consistently do good deeds are far outnumbered by the truly evil and just plain unconscientious.  Are people evil?  There is evil in the world, but the mere presence of the Mother Theresas in the world would seem to disapprove the “people are evil” hypothesis.

I think, by and large, people are inconsiderate.  Not really evil, but definitely not good.  So, if I have to put people in to one of the categories I outlined at the beginning, then I am forced to put the human race in the “bad” range.

“Gark?”

My best friend from college and high school came for a visit last week.  My daughter was enjoying his company.  They had a lot of fun.  In fact, Cory had his brain melted by her cuteness.  She sand “twinkle Twinkle Little Star” which comes out as “ginke ginke itl are.”  She also called out “Touchdown” when we played football on PlayStation. 

After he left, my daughter goes walking around the house saying “Gark?”.  My brother’s name is Mark and they do resemble each other. Sow e said ”first of all, his name is Cory.”  To which she responded “oree”.  When we told her he went home, she put her hands up and said “Home?” as if to say “we are home”.  We then had to tell her that he went to his home.

Beware, she is so cute she will MELT YOUR BRAIN.

All I ever needed to know about life I learned from watching Stargate.

There are entire books with this theme.  I myself own both the Star Trek and Star Trek the Next Generation. 

This will likely become a recurring theme.  It will include “lessons” from any of the Stargate series and movie including but not limited to SG-1 and Atlantis.

Now without further ado:

A little Jello goes a long way:  Whether it is just to help someone feel better or because you are infected with an alien probe, sometimes Jello is the best remedy.

“I want to live, I want to experience the universe, and I want to eat pie.”: Who doesn’t?  Experiencing life is almost as important as merely living.  And you doesn’t want pie?

An original greeting can help you stand out from the rest:“Hello” is too commonplace.  Try “Greetings” or better yet “Kumtria”.

Sometimes not understanding a thing can bring great pleasure: “If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago.”  For many years SG-1 fans have contemplated the meaning of these words.  They inspire creative thinking and philosophical discussions.

If you have leave, it is best to actually leave…unless the Asguard need you for an urgent mission: Vacations are important.  Take them when you can.

Top X Signs that you are a JMU Football fan where X is greater than 5.

OK, I am starting to have football withdrawals. I have been thinking about this for a while. So here is what I have thought of so far.

Duke Dog

1. You name your dog “Duke” so that you can have your own “Duke Duke Duke Duke Daawwg”.
2. You name your cat “Blue Hen” so you can watch Duke chase him.
3. You are sure that Superman wears a JMU uniform #7. (Now out of date)
4. Even when the team is losing, you can still say “our band is better than your band”.
5. You really want one of those inflatable dogs for your front door.
6. Your daughter’s first word is “Duuuuuukes” and is prompted by “First Down J – M – U”.
7. Your daughter’s first two-word “sentence” is “Duke Dog”.
8. You own a purple cowboy hat (or other random accessory).
9. You own thermal underwear and only wear them to football games late in the football season.
10. You secretly wish your thermal underwear were purple and gold even though it is worn under your clothes (well most of the time anyway).
11. Your happy place is section 10 row M seat 20 of Brideforth Stadium.
12. You get all geeked out about meeting anyone named “Showker”.
13. You think the Dukettes are absolutely gorgeous even though you’ve never seen any of them up close.
14. You try to convert your friends and family who still root for that orange and blue team in Charlottesville to JMU fans because “it is a more pure form of the game.”
15. You think “blue” is a really funny shade of purple.

Feel free to add your own.

More Cute Kid Stories

Melody has started talking a little.  The fun thing is what comes out of her mouth.

“No stop dede’s dink” (No, Stop, Melody’s Drink).  When chasing her brother away from her drink.  She actually hid her drink in a toy tool chest today.

“Uhhh…Don” (Up…Down).  When shining a flashlight on the ceiling, then down to the floor.

“Doahr” (Dora).  Her favorate TV show.

RIP Sparky

5/14/1999 – 10/29/2008

Greatest Dog: This last year my wife watched a reality TV show called America’s Greatest Dog.  At first I tried not to watch.  The reason I refused to watch was because, as a rule, I hate all reality TV.  Eventually, the show grew on me.  But I had to admit that they did not have America’s Greatest Dog on the show.  The reason is simple.  The owner of America’s Greatest Dog would not put their beloved pet through the stress of a reality TV show.  A dog doesn’t care about prizes.  A dog only wants to love and be loved.  With the love of a child being that much more special.  A child’s favored dog is America’s Greatest Dog.

What Happend: Sparky’s death was a shock.  We didn’t really see it coming, though he had been “sick”.  Over the past few years his liver enzyme levels have been elevated.  That means…I still have no idea what that means.  We had a $500 ultrasound (he wasn’t pregnant).  That told us that he did not have half a dozen issues, but that his liver had a bunch of lumps.  So, we had an $1,100 biopsy.  That told us it was not cancer.  The only thing left was that it was probably a genetic disease that is somewhat common in labs.  The treatment was $400 worth of antibiotics followed by $250 worth of other medications every month for the rest of his life.  Which turned out to be 28 days.

That last month he was unusually aggressive with taking food that was not his.  He wasn’t attacking other dogs, but he would take food that was right next to me.  At the same time he had stopped eating breakfast.  He also was unusually nervous.  He wouldn’t even stay on the bed.  He stayed alone a lot.  Otherwise, he was himself.  Trust me, I am making more of these abnormalities than there were.  A majority of the time, he was his normal happy self.

The morning of his last day he was seemingly his own self.  Although he was a little more whiny than usual.  I figured his arthritis was flaring up again.  He had a bath.  After the bath he was even more whiny.  I am ashamed to say that I yelled at him.  But he continued.  So I gave him a pain pill he had left over from his surgery.  After dinner I went to check on him and found he had passed.

My wife took took him to an emergency vet just in case there was anything they could do.  Of course, there was not.  The theory provided was that his failing liver threw a clot which made it’s way to his lungs.  He fell asleep with the pain pill and simply passed quietly.

Sparkinator-isms: That is enough dwelling on his end.  I want to share something of him.  He was a happy dog.

When my father died unexpectedly at the age of 55…11 days after 9/11, he was the one I turned to for comfort.  He always looked like he was smiling. 

His favorite activities were swimming and having his barrel-shaped chest rubbed, right where he had a big patch of white. 

His name came from the tip of his tail which was the only other part of him that was white.  When he wagged his tail, it looked to me like a small electrical spark travelling back and forth.  So for those who thought it was just a generic dog name like “Rex” would be wrong.

In the past few years our dogs have been fighting each other when they get overly excited.  Sparky was not one of the attackers.  But he would always try to get the attacker off the attacked.  Our own little peacemaker.

As a puppy we took him for training.  His training included agility training.  He and his sister (Peanut)  were both trained in agility.  Although Peanut was faster, Sparky was better.  As a result, it was not unusual for Sparky to be used as an example by the instructor.

Sparky was easily trained.  His tricks included Sit, Down, the previously mentioned agility tricks, Roll Over, Crawl, Put ‘Em Up, “Commercial” (Bark at the door…we don’t know why), “Look” (There is food around, go look for it), and my favorite: “Right”.  “Right” was a command for him to nod his head like he was agreeing with me.  My wife and I are continuously disagreeing with each other on her cuteness.  I say she is, she denies it.  So I would go up to Sparky and say “Mommy’s Cute, Right” and he would nod in agreement. As a result, I win the argument.  She just hasn’t conceeded yet.

One of the things I was thinking of doing when one of my kids thought a monster was in their room was to take Sparky in to the room and command him to “Look”.  He would look around trying to find the food.  Then I would say “There are no monsters in here, right” and he would nod his head in agreement.  I just never got a chance.

Sparky was half Lab and half Border Collie.  What does a Lab like to do best?  Swim.  Collie?  Herd.  When we first got Sparky we were living in Northern Virginia in Gainesville.  The house was on a lake and the fence was an electric fence.  On hot days it was not unusual for us to come home and find both dogs (Peanut and Sparky) wet from breaking the fence to go swimming in the lake.  Angel and I used to take the pups for a walk around the lake.  Peanut, being a fraidy-dog, would only get in up to her belly.  Sparky on the other hand would relish in swimming around.  In fact, on more than one of these walks he swam across the short end of the lake.  It was a small lake, but it certainly was not a pond.  This lake was also a standard stop for geese.  Sparky, being a Border Lab, would try to herd the geese…IN the lake.  He would swim out to them and try to circumnavigate them.  And this will always be my favorite memory of my favorite dog.

Final Thoughts: Sparky’s death caught me off guard and I was in tears for days.  But my life is better for having known him.  He was loved and he certainly loved me, my wife and my kids.  And he was America’s Greatest Dog.

Two Months Ago

Two months ago my world was turned on its ear.

Two months ago, I lost a job I loved.

Two months ago, I lost my identity as a wage earner.

Two months ago, I realized how far behind my son is in his social interaction.

Two months ago, I was forced in to a greater responsibility for my children…and all the stress that goes with it.

Two months ago, I lost faith in myself.

So far, I have not landed on my feet.  I am still unemployed.  For the first time since college, I went on a client interview and was rejected.  For now, I am trying to stay sane…everything else is gravy.

A Sign of the Times

We finally did it.  Out old 2001 Dodge Grand Caravan had finally pushed us too far and we opted to replace it…with a shiny 2006 Dodge Grand Caravan.

Bells, Whistles and 110,000 fewer miles may all sound good, but what about the gas?

I was actually upset that I had filled up the tank the day before we traded it in. 

We only got $1,700 for the van.  Not surprising considering the big dent I put in the back fender when Melody was a week old and I was taking her to her doctor’s appointment with a grand total of 12 hours sleep in that week (I exaggerate for effect…but not by much).  Scratches on the sides and a transmission that was leaking could not have helped our resale value.

So the $60 of gas I put in represented 3.5% of the value of the car.  When I took the new car for a test drive I noticed it was at half a tank.  That means that I was going to “lose” $30 in gas.

After completing the paperwork I go to drive the new van home only to notice they filled the tank for me.

For some reason, I felt better about spending $16,000 on a car with a full tank of gas.

Low Self Esteem

I have suffered from low self esteem all my life.  Mostly it is a concern over my weight.  Some of it is a certain perceived social awkwardness.

I thought I was improving in the self esteem category until I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago.  I lost all of the money I brought for gambling, but that isn’t the point.  You see, I was hungry one night around 10:00.  So I went down to the casino to get a bite.  When i got off the elevator a beautiful young woman called me over to her. 

She said “are you alone?”

Now I was not with someone at the time, though my Mother and Brother were with me on the trip, and my Brother and I were rooming together.  But being the technical person that I am, I said “Yes”

She said “Do you want some company?”

At this point I finally realized that she was a prostitute.  Call me slow if you like, but it really did take me this long to even consider the possibility.  Partially because the was very pretty.  I said “No thanks” and kept walking.  When I told my brother about this the next day he asked how much she would have been.  I am proud to say that I didn’t get that far.

Here is where the self-esteem thing comes in to play.  You see, I was flattered by the prostitute considering me.  My self-image is such that I could not imagine anyone (other than my wife) wanting to be with me.  Even though she was “on the clock” it was nice to know that I am not that repulsive.

Wow, that sounds even more pathetic than I thought.

The Good Samaritan

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my chair finishing up the latest episode of Burn Notice when my bride came home with the kids.  I only had 10 minutes left on the episode, so after I helped get everyone settled down and rotated through the potty I returned to my show. 

Five minutes later there was a knock at our door.

I cursed under my breath and went to send whomever it was away.  Usually, it is a religious person handing out crap that I don’t want.  But this time it was a motorcyclist saying that there was something leaking out of the bottom of my wife’s van.

I said it was probably just condensation from the air conditioning, but that I would take a look anyway.  He said that condensation should have evaporated and that he had followed the leak for 3 miles.  I look under the car and find that the transmission is leaking severely.  I immediately drive it to the repair shop.  About a block from the shop it stopped changing gears out of first.

That guy saved me having to have my wife’s car towed the next morning when we would have noticed.  I also would have left for work and we would have had to find an alternate means of transportation in the morning.  The heads up this guy gave me allowed me to get my carpool to pick me up (Mondays are usually my day).

I didn’t get his name.  I have no way of contacting him.  He was kind without reward.  And I thank him and wish him good karma.