Pet Peeve of the Day

The acceleration lane is for ACCELERATING.

The Story of J: Chapter 11 – A Cold Day In…

=====Work of Fiction=====

Previous: Chapter 10 – Recruiting

Table of Contents

Next: Chapter 12 – Encounter

 

Baleysworld is known primarily for the hard winters and the hard people they produce.  The planet is purported to be the Planet of Origin by the inhabitants of the world which makes them one among hundreds of planets to make that claim.  The planet is home to a particular species of plant that is well adapted to the near-constant winters found…

…The world’s population exists almost entirely underground.  Although the environment is not pleasant, the reasons for the underground caves of steel seems to be rooted in cultural, rather than environmental, forces.  Because of the massive structures that contain the world’s population, sociologists have determined that Trantor, and the planet-girdling city of domes that were built during the first galactic empire, may have been colonized directly from Baleysworld.  Indeed, the structures offer similar architecture…

…The planet is also unique in that the First Foundation’s religious tenants designed to control the technology provided by the home planet were completely ineffectual.  it is widely believed that the planet does not harbor any religious beliefs.  However, speculation is rampant among outsiders as to the source of the planet’s atheism. The great archaeologist Gladia Delmaar was said to have been interested in the planet…*

* All excerpts from the Encyclopedia Galactica taken from the sixth edition FE 1792 Terminus.

 —————————-

“I don’t suppose we could just look up ‘Temple’ in the directory.”  J had said sardonically in the general direction of Agent Leo.

As J expected, the agent responded. “There are no temples listed in the directory on Baleysworld.”

The trio of travelers remained silent and motionless in the small space port on Baleysworld.  The trip to arrive at this distant planet had been long.  The tight quarters on board Exie had not helped.  Unfortunately nobody had thought to plan a course of action while on the trip.

Finally Kat broke the silence. “Well I for one would like to sit down and have a nice meal.  Then we should probably arrange for a place to stay.”

The two men nodded in agreement and then followed as she lead the way to a brightly lit entrance.  She stepped outside, and then immediately turned back around and came back in before the men could feel the frigid air outside.

“I though we were near the equator.”  She said which produced only puzzled looks from her male companions.  “It is freezing out there.”  She looked around for the first time and noticed that there were many shops in the space port, and most of them had heavily insulated jackets and pants hanging in the displays.  “this way” she ordered and then marched toward the closest store.

Half hour later, the three travelers exited the shop and stepped comfortably out in to the cold clad in brand new…agency funded…heavy clothing.  J, Leo and Kat entered a waiting ground car taxi and asked the drive to take them to a restaurant.

The driver didn’t ask for more information, he simply stepped on the accelerator and drove for about 20 minutes. 

If there is one constant in the universe it would have to be the administrative building.  Every planet from Trantor to the most distant and backward has administrative buildings.  The architecture may differ slightly from planet to planet, but the air always conveys the same “officialness”.  The interior walls are always beige with a minimal of decoration.  The people inside are always the same self-important bureaucrats.  The building the cabbie brought them to was definitely an administrative building.

When the ground car was stopped, the back door was openned from the outside.  A person was on the other side wrapped in enough clothing to hide the gender of the individual.  He/She motioned the trio to follow. 

Once inside, the figure removed the coats with the ease of great practive revealing a diminutive man with larger-than-necessary ears that provoked an instant smile from everyone who met him.  His smile was easily displayed as well and he grinned at the three travelers.

The three travelers waited for the man to speak…not sure what was going on.

“Hi, I am the Executive Assistant to Undersecretary of External Information” the man said, without giving a name. “I have been told to inform you that you are looking in the wrong place and to send you on your way.”

“You know who we are?” J said, with maybe a little too much enthusiasm.

“In a way…I was told to tell three travelers from Trantor that were to arrive today quote ‘You are looking in the wrong direction’ end quote.  Then I was to send you on your way.”

“And who told you to tell us this message?”  Leo asked.

“The message came from our police force’s department of external threats.” He said with a small smile.  “And to answer your next question, they are a little on the paranoid side.  They rarely share their sources.

“Now that that is over with, I was wondering if you would like to join me for a bite to eat.”

The three visitors agreed and the small man turned and led them to a public cafeteria. 

On the way, Leo pulled J in close and whispered “He has a practiced mind.  He only thinks what he says.  Either he knows that I am an agent, or he is always careful not to think too much when speaking…similar to a gambler who doesn’t look at his cards because he doesn’t want to give away his hand.  Apparently he is a practiced politician at least.”

 They didn’t walk far to the cafeteria.  Another indication of the “Administrative Building Effect”.  The line to enter the cafeteria was long to say the least.  With people from all walks of life waiting in a raucus organization for their chance to swipe their palm and enter the eating area.  However,  the small man walked to another kiosk where an actual person waited to admit them.  To J’s eyes, the man didn’t identify himself, but the attendant opened the door with respect.

The man lead the group to a small table and sat down.  In front of each table setting was a set of buttons.  The main pointed to each in turn.  “Unfortunately, we have come on a day when there is no choice for the main entre. But, this button will provide you with a tofurky sandwich.  These two will provide you with either chocolate milk make with real milk or a glass of synthapple juice. ”  J Smiled to himself at the mention of “Real” milk…obviously a delicacy on this planet.  He, however, selected the sythapple juice for his sandwich.  Leo and Kat both selected the milk…but the executive secretary to the undersecretary of external communications did not.

The food and drink appeared almost instantaneously from an alcove directly in front of each seat.  J took a timid bite of the sandwich.  It was bland, but somehow gave J a feeling of familiarity.   He savored the dish, chewing each bite completely before reluctantly sending it on to his stomach. When the sandwich was gone he was tempted to ask for another.  But decided against it.

“May I ask you a question?” He asked the government man.  Without waiting for approval, he continued “How many people live on Baleysworld?”

“There are approximately 4 Billion.  Why do you ask?”

“Well, these cafeterias seem to be overcrowded despite their obvious efficiency.  That level of efficiency leads me to believe that overpopulation and greater demand the capacity may be an issue.  But 4 billion is hardly unheard of in the galaxy, and to my knowledge the other planets do not resort to this.” J said gesturing at the relative pandemonium going on around them. “So, I wonder why you have developed this intentional system of overcrowding.”  J had watched the man intently, waiting for some sign that he was impressed by his train of logic…or for that matter that the man was impressed at all.

“To tell you the truth.” he said, with the slightest of smiles “nobody really knows why we have developed this ‘ intentional system of overcrouding’ as you so eloquently put it.  From time to time a measure to address the ‘cafeteria problem’ is put on the ballot.  It is inevitably voted down.  Apparently, it is a cultural thing.” The man stopped as if that answered the question.  “Now, may I ask you a question?” He said and without pausing continued “What is it that you are looking for?”

Kat began to answer, but Leo had grabbed her arm and indicated that J should continue the conversation.  Apparently, although he could not read the practiced politician, he knew J was up to something.

J said “You first.  What are you looking for?”

“I’m not sure I understand the question.”

“You are not an Executive Secretary to the Undersecretary of External Communications.  I would say that you are a man of some importance.  The length of a persons title is inversely proportional to their import ants.  Judging by the way the cafeteria attendant acted when you came up, you are not a man of low import ants.  Therefore, your title should be shorter.  Maybe you are the Undersecretary of External Communications?  Or the Secretary?  It doesn’t really matter.  If all you were supposed to do was to tell us to move along, the, whomever ‘They’ are would not have sent such a practiced politician.  You want something…I want to know what.”

If the man was surprised by what he heard, he didn’t show it.  “My question is simply to address my own ppersonal curiosity I assure you Mr. J.  As for the cafeteria worker, she is my neighbor, and friend.  That provides you with some measure of convenience…as long as I don’t abuse the courtesy she shows me.  I assure you, I am who I say I am.”

“And who is that?”

“I am the Executive Secretary to the Undersecretary -”

“Of External information…yes, you said that.  But you didn’t provide a name.  And, incidentally, neither did we.  Yet you just called me by my self provided name.”  J Said. “If I can not believe that you are who you say you are…which I can’t…Then how am I to trust you when you say that we are looking in the wrong place?”

The man stopped and seemed to think for some time.  J glanced at Leo who gave him a small nod to indicate that the small man was indeed ‘thinking’.

“You should trust me because staying here would be a waist of time. “the man paused just before completing the final word in his statement. “I see that you don’t believe that either.  And the truth is that you may be right to doubt my advice.  I can not tell you who I am.  But I can tell you that I have heard from a reliable source that whatever it is that you are looking for is not on Baleysworld.  Unfortunately, they did not see fit to tell me what you were looking for.  When I told my superior about this fact, he suggested that I take it upon myself to find out what you are looking for, so that we could investigate thoroughly.”  He finished looking down at the table…almost in tears.

“May we speak to your superior?” J asked.

“I don’t see why not.” the man said as he stood. “I have failed in my mission.”

—————————-

The group of four walked back to the administrative building at a slow stroll.  Leo took this opportunity to whisper in to J’s ear again. “He is not faking.  He does think he has failed.”

“He has…he was sent to get information from us, and ended up giving us information.  If he is who I suspect him to be, then I have no doubt that he has about violated his greatest preconception…strange really.  Were you pressuring him at all?”

“No” Leo said.

“It isn’t nice to whisper.” Kat said, interrupting the two men.  They went back to walking in silence.  J continued to think.

The door that the man took them to was labeled…with a name.  ‘Secretariat Delmaar - Secretary in Chief’.  J smiled inwardly.  The doors opened on to a largish office that was piled high with electronic tablets.  Each pile was arranged such that the tablets were stable.  J had the impression that each pile served a purpose that was not apparent to anyone but the one who created the piles in the first place.

The man behind the desk looked up, saw the downtrodden face of the pseudo ‘Executive Secretary…’.  He then started to shuffle tablets around until he found the one he was looking for.  Only then did he acknowledge the presence of the other three people who entered the room.

“Mr. Delmaar-” J started.

“Secretary Delmaar” the man corrected.

“Apologies.  Secretary Delmaar, my name is J, this is Kat and Leo, and we are looking for robots.”  J glanced in the direction of the man who had lead them this far just in time to see a slight smile appear accross his face.  He had not failed in his responsibilities.

 ”What is a Robot?”  Secretary Delmaar said, while he continued to read the information on his tablet.

“A mechanical being that was reported to be constructed by humans before the dawn of history.  We have come here because this is one of the oldest planets known to exist.”

“Theoldest.” Delmaar said, showing obvious pride. “But I don’t think I have ever heard of a robot before.”

“Those that have heard of them consider them mythical.” Kat said. “But we are convinced that they exist.  We would like your permission to look Secretary Delmaar.”

“Why do you need my permission?”

“Your Secretary of External Information here” J said, indicating the man who had attended to them thus far ” tried to get rid of us.  I assume at your request.”

Both of the bureaucrats paused visibly.  One because J had figured out who he was, the other because J had figured out what he had done.  Finally, Delmaar spoke “I did.  But that was at the recommendation of a reliable source.  I on;y had your best interests in mind.”

“And what if this ‘reliable source’ does not have our best interests in mind?” Leo said. “I don’t think we can take their word for it.  Unless you can tell us who your reliable source is and we can check them out for ourselves.”

“That is quite impossible, we don’t even who who he is.” the Secretary of External Information said. “But his information has always been good till now.”

“Unfortunately, we don’t have another direction to take right now.  The trail ran dry before we even got started.  This is our only lead.” Kat said.

“And the robots are not the only thing we are looking for. “J said “Can I ask you a question Secretary…”J said indicating the first man.

He paused visibly, then answered “Secretary Marakison” the man said “Jordan Marakison.”

“Is there an way that you can think of that a human would not be found in the genetic library maintained by the Empire?”

The man pursed his lips and shook his head. “Not that I can think of.”

“Do you agree that such a person could be dangerous to our way of life?  Someone who didn’t exist that is.  They could commit crimes and couldn’t be booked.  They could steal and not be identified.”

“Assuming it was not a computer error…I could see that they should be identified.  But that doesn’t seem likely.”

“I am such a person.” J said simply. 

“But I looked you up in the database…you were there.”

“Did you notice when the record was added?  It was added a couple of weeks ago on Trantor.  I am more than a couple of weeks old.  Therefore, I must have been one of ‘those dangerous people’.  I am trying to find out where I came from so that I can figure out if there are more ‘invisible people’ out there.”

J paused and then continued in a seeming non-sequator. “Have you heard of the Korlog?”

“Yes.” Came the simple response. 

“What if they are behind me?  What if I am some sort of spy for them?  Wouldn’t that represent a threat?”

“Secretary Marakison, you are to provide these people with all the resources they need to find out where he came from.  If necessary, you may also help them to find these so-called robots.”  Secretary Delmaar said, then turned around and dropped the tablet on his desk sat down and went to work.  Apparently, the meeting was over.

Secretary Marakison was surprised.  He had indicated that these three travelers may be helpful in their research.  But Secretary Delmaar had used one of his favorite terms.  ‘It will be a cold day in hell before we accept help from outsiders.’ he had said.  But on Baleysworld, it was always cold.  Maybe hell had finally frozen over.

 

Previous: Chapter 10 – Recruiting

Table of Contents

Next: Chapter 12 – Encounter

Pretend Play

One of the (many) signs that Dante was autistic was that he did not “Pretend Play”.  He never played house or acted out scenes with the little people figurines.

Melody is non-verbal…which was the first big sign from Dante.  Obviously my bride and I are concerned about Mel because of this.  However, she does several things that preclude a diagnosis of “Autism”.  She points to things she wants.  She will watch another person do something, and imitate them.  And she pretend plays.

Last night after dinner she grabbed a set of play pots and utensils we got for Christmas and “cooked” a pretend meal on the stairs.  She then went around to each human and dog and fed them with one of the spoons.

I was laying on the floor on my back.  When she “Fed” me, the spoon went down my throat.  The term “gag me with a spoon” came to mind for some reason.

She thought it was funny.  So, she kept doing it.  I will say, once I figured out how to be fed without gaging, it was quite funny to watch her come around and feed everybody.

My Worst Nightmare

Two nights ago I had my worst nightmare of all time.  I obviously found it disturbing because I am still thinking about it.

Before that, my worst nightmare was from the age of 8 when I went to see Gremlins.  Ironically that nightmare wasn’t about Gremlins, but about being chased through a castle by Dracula and the Wolfman.  I have never really been a fan of scary movies, and have not seen one (of my own accord) since Gremlins.

But the other night I found an even worse nightmare.  And the worst part of it was that my physical health was never in question.  I am hoping by writing it down I can simply forget about it.

I remember clearly that I was at my Mother’s house in Waynesboro.  The whole thing took place in a three block area around the house.  I lived there from age 12 until I left for college…and then spent a couple of summers living in that house.  So I know the area like the back of my hand.  In my dream, everything was exactly as I remember it.  There was no distortion to let my mind know I was dreaming.

I was in my Mothers house, and I was talking to Dante…and he was talking back.  The beginning of the dream was just a series of people I know coming up to talk to me.  My wife, both kids, friends and even coworkers.  Then, my mother came in and asked me who I was talking to and I said “Dante” and gestured to the figure that I was talking to.  There was nobody there.  I shrugged it off that he must have gone off someplace and went back to watching TV.

The next thing I remember is talking to my boyhood friend in a field near my house.  He disappeared right before my eyes.

Next, I saw a “plasma storm” (like from Star Trek) coming over the hill.  I took off running for the house and ran inside yelling to anyone who could hear me that we were in trouble.  The plasma storm changed to a storm of ghosts like what you might have seen in Ghostbusters.  My brother was the one to tell me nothing was going on outside.  When I looked again, the sky was clear and sunny.

At this point, I was convinced I had lost my mind.  I was seeing things that were not there.  The apparitions started coming more frequently.  Each time, someone would point out that they didn’t exist.  I asked my mother if she had seen my wife or kids and she said that I didn’t have a wife or kids.  But then my mother turned out to be an apparition.

I remember thinking “Who can you trust if you can not trust your own mind”?

I drove to a hospital, only to find that it was gone.  That is about the time that I woke up.

What was really disturbing about this dream wasn’t the physical danger of imminent harm.  It was so real…like I had actually lost my mind.

My paternal grandfather had Alzheimer’s for several years before he passed away.  He was, for the most part, spared the knowledge of his declining mental health.

I don’t know what my dream was actually about and I don’t want to know.  Actually, I have an idea, but I would rather not think about it.  I just want to put it behind me.

Wall-E

I am looking forward to a particular movie that is coming out.

I’m not sure what the name is.

I think it is from he same people who made The Incrediblesmy favorite movie of all time in all genre’s animated or not.

I think it has this cute thing in it that is kinda mechanical or something.

 

Apparently this little fella is kinda lonely, then goes “To Infinity and Beyond.”

I am also not sure if my enthusiasm shows

I just hope that I am not disappointed.

127

For reasons that are a mystery to everyone, including myself, I have been thinking about my so-called glory days playing high-school football at Waynesboro High.  Whenever my best friend and I get together we can talk for hours about individual plays that happened almost 15 years ago…specifically during my senior year (his Junior).

We had the smallest offensive line in our division.  This was a source of pride for my teammates and I because we were also one of the more dominant offensive lines, even with a 149 lbs center (that is not a typo).  Though everyone would agree that our defence was the reason we won games and ended up in the playoffs that year.

For our final practice we had 21 healthy players.  A quick count will show tht that is just shy of the number of players you need to have full practices.  We had a coach line up at safety for the scab squad* defense and we didn’t even try to practice for the suicide squad**.  A coach was our regular scab squad QB, so there was no need to change for the starting defense.

But what I remember best are some of the plays.  My best friend played left tackle and I was the right guard.  However, I was a backup to the right tackle, left tackle and left guard and he was the backup to the center (I would take his place when the center went out).  So we did a fair bit of playing next to each other.

Rockers

Neither of us were starters on defense, so we would play Center and Guard on the scab squad.  I was back-up to the nose tackle, so in essence I got to spend the entire practice hitting the guy who took my job.  He was little but had a lot of heart.  Honestly there were no hard feeling about him taking the job.  I was already a starter on the other side of the ball and going iron man*** isn’t as fun as it sounds.  Anyway, if we were running to my side of the ball Cory and I would make a call of “Rockers”  which pretty much meant to knock the nose-guard off his rocker.  It was fun, but throughout the regular season, there was never a good opportunityto make the call in a real game.  We played next to each other sometimes, but we bothknew when the call was appropriate, and it just never was.  Finally, in our one (and only) playoff game the starting left guard got hurt and I moved over to Cory’s side.  The call was for a sweep to the left (a 127 in our playbook) and the opposing tackle lined up right between us.  I made the call and we both started to smile.  The poor guy’s eyes got REALLY big…we only pushed him back about 15 yards.

Good Job

The playoff game was against Handley High School.  They went on to the semi-finals that season, and we were beating them at half time.  But we just ran out of gas.  Almost all game long I was blocking the same guy (not the guy from the last story.)  This guy was 6′4″ and went on to play for UVa (My second player of the season with that distinction…neither graduated).  But I kept him in check all game long.  When we shook hands, he patted me on the head and said “Good job 6-4″.  The opposing coach called me out by number also.  It was the first time that someone on the other team had personally acknowledged me.  I don’t know where he is now.  I don’t know his name.  But I hope he knows how much that meant to me.

Broadway

My coach was famous for calling fake punts and kick-offs.  We would name them after the team we were playing that week (we put in a new fake punt every other week and a fake kick-off every three or four weeks).  I don’t remember most of them, but I do remember “Broadway”.  My junior year I had been killed at Broadway.  We won the game, but I spent most of my time on the ground.  That game was one of my motivations for doubling my leg strength and almost doubling my upper body strength in the off-season.  Unfortunately the guy I played against graduated, but his replacement felt my pain.  It was possibly kismet that it happened to be my 18th birthday, and I was captain.  The captain was announced by the coach every week based on performance from the previous week.  The coach claimed that he didn’t know it was my birthday, I was captain because I was one of the few people who had a good game against R.E. Lee the previous week (of course I have a story…actually two). 

When we kicked our first punt, I was supposed to shed my blocker and then go hit somebody.  However, the guy (#44) was really strong and had great technique.  I ended up on the ground.  The second time we punted was a fake…to my side.  This guy had kicked my butt the first time and now I was supposed to block him, from a standing position?  But I had noticed something.  When the ball was snapped, he locked on to my shoulder pads and stared in to my eyes.  So, for the second punt, I just stood there.  He stared in to my eyes as my teammate ran right past him on his was to a first down.  I didn’t move a muscle, yet successfully blocked my man.

Flip

I said I had a couple of stories from the R.E. Lee game and this is the first.  I was playing nose guard (before I lost my job…my replacement had to get his grades up).  The left guard on the other team pulled off to his left.  I was playing right over top of him on the play, so I pulled out to chase him.  Their QB had also rolled out to that side and went to throw the ball down field.  The guard was there to protect him.  I realized I couldn’t get past the guard before the ball was gone, so I jumped and tried to swat at the ball.  The guard caught me by the legs and I flipped over him.  My friend’s father used to say that if your rear-end was above your head you were in trouble…I don’t remember landing.  The pass was completed for a touchdown.  I was only about three inches from the ball when it was released.  We lost by 14 points, so that exact play didn’t actually change the game…but still.

Later that week they had to forfeit because they had an academically ineligible player play in the game when the game was already out of reach.  Kinda sucks for them.  They would have made the playoffs instead of us had they not been forced to forfeit even though it made no difference in the game. 

But that isn’t where the story ends.  You see, I was attending the Central Shenandoah Valley Regional Governor’s School (CSVRGS, but now only SVGS).  This was a county-wide initiative to teach the cream of the crop from math, science and technology at a central location.  R.E. Lee and WHS were both member schools.  And the guy who flipped me was also a student. 

A Host of Little Giants…

 The second story from the Lee game was actually relayed to me by my father.  The R.E. Lee game was one of the few games we had that was on the radio.  My father listened to the announcer while at the game.  That game I had seven tackles, three for a loss.  What was funny was that for each of my tackles the radio host said “A Host of Little Giants on the tackle.”  Specifically, they went for a two-point conversion.  I went all the way around the center to make a beautiful tackle.  Yet “A host of little giants” made the tackle. My father was ready to storm the press box.

The Lye Game

Wilson Memorial High School was to WHS what… Well, I was going to say the Redskins were to the Cowboys.  But the Redskins only lost 11 years in a row.  WMHS lost for 23 consecutive years to WHS at the time I was in school.  In fact, the last time WMHS had beaten WHS was when our lineman coach was the QB for WMHS.  (The streak has ended, and I don’t think it reached 30 years…now it is about the opposite).

My senior year there was one guy we were worried about.  Matt Robinson was 320 lbs with some muscle.  The week before we had played Charlottesville against another future UVa player.  During the Charlottesville game the 149 lbs center, Keith, and I had arranged to line call for a reach block.  If it was going left, I would reach the nose guard and he would release on the linebacker.  The other way, we would switch rolls.  It worked great.  The first play of the game Matt lined up at nose guard.  The play was to the right.  We called for the reach and Keith picked him up by himself…AND KIETH TOOK HIM!!!  On the way back to the huddle I asked if he could handle the reach in the future.  He just kept saying “He is a bug dude”. After that play, Matt moved out to Defensive End, so we never had to worry about the call again.

That isn’t the story I wanted to tell.  Before the game, they had covered the field in Lye.  Whenever we landed there was a cloud of dust.  This was a problem for me.  I wore contact lenses during the games.  The lye got in my eyes and it burned sooooo bad.  I wasn’t good about keeping them clean.  I now have a huge sensitivity to light.  I can’t figure out which was the greater factor…the Lye or my lack of cleaning.

That isn’t the story either.  By the fourth quarter we had the game pretty well handled.  As a result, the second string was in on both sides.  Cory and I made the calls on defense because we were the only ones who kinda knew the signals.  On offense, Cory took over at Center and I moved to Right tackle.  There was a call for a 124 waggle (Right guard pulls left, QB rolls to that side after a play-action with an option to run).  Our backup QB gained fifty yards on that play.  Horney (that was his name) was not the fastest of guys (our starter could beat almost anybody down the field).  Cory and I had straight-up blocks that play.  Both of us were starters that were just out of position.  So the poor guys on the other side didn’t stand much of a chance.  About twelve yards down field Cory blocked the guy in to my left knee.  Though I finished the game, that is the only injury I have ever had in a game…and my best friend did it. 

127

As I mentioned previously, I was the right guard.  I also mentioned that if the right guard pulls to the left on a sweep to that side, it was called a 127 in our playbook (or a 127x depending on who he was supposed to block). 

The overall perception in football is that if a Lineman runs five yards, the play is past him.  After all, it takes a lot longer to push a guy five yards than to carry a ball ten yards.  The exception is the 127.  It requires a lineman to run down field to make a block.

We were playing Harrisonburg High school.  Harry High was not talented that season, but they stayed competitive by using trick plays and taking some of the sting out of aggressivedefenses (like our’s).  We won the game on a trick play (our wing back through a touchdown to our back-up QB (who was also our starting split end) after receiving a hand-off from our starting QB.

On an earlier series, our running back got injured (broke his arm…out for the season).  When our back-up came in we ran the same play 10 times in a row.  Can you guess which play?  Did you guess 127?  Good guess!  We got to the one yard line.   I don’t remember being tired…I don’t remember ever being tired during a game.  But the coaches took me out anyway.  They scored a touchdown after I ran the same play 10 times in a row (OK, it might have only been eight…or six). 

On one of the plays the safety tried to take me on.  The coaches would assign points for plays and provide star stickers for the helmets for every five points earned.  They would also give skull and cross bones for each big hit…called a POW.  That block was the only POW ever given out for a block.  When we watched teh tape, one of my teammates said “He stepped on his foot”.  For the record, I didn’t, and he knew it.  It got a good laugh…from me too (and I didn’t have a sense of humor).

I could go on and on and on (as if I haven’t already).  But I think this is a good start.

* Scab Squad – The second or third team players that practiced against the starters.  There were many advantages to being on the scab squad.  For example, i got to play fullback my Junior year on the scab squad…which was the only time I got to touch the ball.

** Suicide Squad – The Punt or Kickoff teams were referred to as the Suicide squad.  You would have to be a little crazy to run as fast as you can 50 yards and try to hit someone running the other way as fast as they can.  I was a back-up on the kickoff squad and a starter on the punt squad.

*** Iron Man – playing both offense and defense.  With such a small squad we only had about six players who did not go both ways.  Though we (yes, I was one of those 6) were second stringers (usually to more than one position).

My Personal Mission

A couple of year sago, my third-favorite Buffalo wing joint discontinued my favorite wing sauce.

1) Anchor Bar – Buffalo, NY
2) Dominoes Pizza – Gainesville, VA
3) Buffalo Wild Wings – Any Location

BW3s would be higher, but their wings are tiny, and they discontinued my favorite wing sauce – Smoky Southwestern.  At the time they discontinued the sauce, I bought every bottle they had left in the store.  I even went online to buy out the rest they may have had there, but they had already stopped selling it online.

Yesterday, I used my last drop of BW3’s Smoky Southwestern Sauce.  So, I recorded the ingredients from the bottle:

Water
Cayenne Pepper
Distilled Vinegar
Soybean Oil
Chili Pepper
Salt
Egg Yolk
Chipotle Peppers
Garlic (Dehydrated)
Modified Food Starch
Jalapeno Peppers (Dehydrated)
Natural Smoke Flavor
Onion (Dehydrated)
Xanthan Gum
Calcium ????? EDTA (Added to protect Flavor)

And, I sent an e-mail to the company asking if they would either bring back the sauce, or send me the recipe.  I’m guessing that I will get no response…any takers?

So, I am going to try to reproduce the sauce.  I am no chef, so this could be interesting…