Messing with Telemarketers

Like many Americans, I get calls way to frequently from telemarketers.  I have tried many things to satisfy my irritation at these calls:

1) Yell “Stop Calling Me” and hang up.

  Pros:

      I feel better

  Cons:

      It doesn’t work, they just call back.

2) Leave the phone off the hook after they call

  Pros:

      It wastes their time, not mine

      They get to listen to “Pinky Dinky Do” or whatever else my kids are watching on TV

  Cons:

      It still doesn’t work, they just call back.

      When a computer calls, it doesn’t care that I waste it’s time.

3) Give the phone to my 3 year old autistic son.

  Pros:

       I can only immagine what they are thinking when he says “gooda gooda gooda gi”

  Cons:

       I doubt they stay on the phone for long

      They call back

But I think I finally figured out something that I enjoy, assuming I have time for it.  The trick is, if a computer calls, I have to listen to it long enough to get to talk to a real person.  But it works so much better.  The following is an approximate transcript between myself and a telemarketer with a heavy Asian Indian accent:

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak with Mr or Mrs Morgan?

Me: Yes

T: My name is Jason and I am calling from the Dish Network.  May I ask what service you are using for your TV? Is it cable or satellite?

My Thoughts: (“Jason”? doubt it. I don’t know many Asian Indians named “Jason”)

Me: (Silence)

T: Hello?

Me: (Silence)

T: Mr. Morgan, are you there?

Me: Yes

T: Hello, my name is Jason and I am calling from the Dish Network.  May I ask what service you are using for your TV?  Is it cable or satellite?

Me: (Silence)

T: Hello?

Me: (Silence)

T: Mr. Morgan, are you there?

Me: Yes

T: Hello, my name is Jason and I am calling from the Dish Network.  May I ask what service you are using for your TV?  Is it cable or satellite?

Me: (Silence)

T: Hello?

Me: (Silence)

T: Mr. Morgan, are you there?

Me: Yes

T: Hello, my name is Jason and I am calling from the Dish Network.  May I ask what service you are using for your TV?  Is it cable or satellite?

Me: (Silence)

T: (Hangs Up)

I have decided to try to get telemarketers to hang up on me as often as possible.  If I see something that works, I will post it here.  This was effective, but it took a long time.  I tried it again for someone from DirecTV (I have DirecTV, so I’m not sure why they were calling me).  It took 12 minutes for her to give up.