Cogito Patris

Random Thoughts for Random People

My Worst Nightmare

Two nights ago I had my worst nightmare of all time.  I obviously found it disturbing because I am still thinking about it.

Before that, my worst nightmare was from the age of 8 when I went to see Gremlins.  Ironically that nightmare wasn’t about Gremlins, but about being chased through a castle by Dracula and the Wolfman.  I have never really been a fan of scary movies, and have not seen one (of my own accord) since Gremlins.

But the other night I found an even worse nightmare.  And the worst part of it was that my physical health was never in question.  I am hoping by writing it down I can simply forget about it.

I remember clearly that I was at my Mother’s house in Waynesboro.  The whole thing took place in a three block area around the house.  I lived there from age 12 until I left for college…and then spent a couple of summers living in that house.  So I know the area like the back of my hand.  In my dream, everything was exactly as I remember it.  There was no distortion to let my mind know I was dreaming.

I was in my Mothers house, and I was talking to Dante…and he was talking back.  The beginning of the dream was just a series of people I know coming up to talk to me.  My wife, both kids, friends and even coworkers.  Then, my mother came in and asked me who I was talking to and I said “Dante” and gestured to the figure that I was talking to.  There was nobody there.  I shrugged it off that he must have gone off someplace and went back to watching TV.

The next thing I remember is talking to my boyhood friend in a field near my house.  He disappeared right before my eyes.

Next, I saw a “plasma storm” (like from Star Trek) coming over the hill.  I took off running for the house and ran inside yelling to anyone who could hear me that we were in trouble.  The plasma storm changed to a storm of ghosts like what you might have seen in Ghostbusters.  My brother was the one to tell me nothing was going on outside.  When I looked again, the sky was clear and sunny.

At this point, I was convinced I had lost my mind.  I was seeing things that were not there.  The apparitions started coming more frequently.  Each time, someone would point out that they didn’t exist.  I asked my mother if she had seen my wife or kids and she said that I didn’t have a wife or kids.  But then my mother turned out to be an apparition.

I remember thinking “Who can you trust if you can not trust your own mind”?

I drove to a hospital, only to find that it was gone.  That is about the time that I woke up.

What was really disturbing about this dream wasn’t the physical danger of imminent harm.  It was so real…like I had actually lost my mind.

My paternal grandfather had Alzheimer’s for several years before he passed away.  He was, for the most part, spared the knowledge of his declining mental health.

I don’t know what my dream was actually about and I don’t want to know.  Actually, I have an idea, but I would rather not think about it.  I just want to put it behind me.

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April 11, 2008 - Posted by | Random Thoughts

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