Cogito Patris

Random Thoughts for Random People

Low Self Esteem

I have suffered from low self esteem all my life.  Mostly it is a concern over my weight.  Some of it is a certain perceived social awkwardness.

I thought I was improving in the self esteem category until I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago.  I lost all of the money I brought for gambling, but that isn’t the point.  You see, I was hungry one night around 10:00.  So I went down to the casino to get a bite.  When i got off the elevator a beautiful young woman called me over to her. 

She said “are you alone?”

Now I was not with someone at the time, though my Mother and Brother were with me on the trip, and my Brother and I were rooming together.  But being the technical person that I am, I said “Yes”

She said “Do you want some company?”

At this point I finally realized that she was a prostitute.  Call me slow if you like, but it really did take me this long to even consider the possibility.  Partially because the was very pretty.  I said “No thanks” and kept walking.  When I told my brother about this the next day he asked how much she would have been.  I am proud to say that I didn’t get that far.

Here is where the self-esteem thing comes in to play.  You see, I was flattered by the prostitute considering me.  My self-image is such that I could not imagine anyone (other than my wife) wanting to be with me.  Even though she was “on the clock” it was nice to know that I am not that repulsive.

Wow, that sounds even more pathetic than I thought.

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August 5, 2008 - Posted by | Random Thoughts

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